WHAT COUNSELING ISNT

What Counseling Is & Isn't

What Counseling Is

Counseling is an interpersonal helping relationship which begins with the client exploring the way they think, how they feel and what they do, for the purpose of enhancing their life
The client determines and declares to the counselor what the counter productive behaviors are and then makes decisions about which one(s) will be worked on. The counselor helps the client to set the goals that pave the way for positive change to occur
Assumptions inherent in this definition:
*Counseling effectiveness is judged by positive change(s)
*The client is the all important person in the dyad. It is for them that the activity exists...everything that goes on is for the benefit of them
*The counselor cannot merely do what comes naturally. There must be a rationale and method guiding the counselor's behaviors, responses, etc.
*Counseling is work, pain is involved, and there are costs associated with it (emotional, time, financial, energy, etc.)
*Thinking, feeling and behaving are interrelated. Changes in one area effects others
*The counselor is a skilled and competent person who seeks to improve their performances via continued education and self-awareness
*All clients come with their own perspectives. Each is a unique individual with particular characteristics and ways of dealing with the world

Effective Counselors
Have good will (are optimistic and hopeful)
Are able to be fully present for another
Equalize the counseling relationship
Have a sense of vulnerability
Have self-respect
Are willing to model appropriate thoughts, feelings and behaviors
Turn mistakes into learning experiences
Have a sense of humor
Are empathetic and compassionate
Demonstrate patience
Are non-judgmental
Are active listeners
Care about the clients' well being
Taken from www.newdirectionscounseling.com

What Counseling Isn't

Counseling is not a massage. It is not "unconditional positive regard", although sometimes that’s part of it. There is nothing wrong with support and nurturing, but they are not, by themselves, counseling. You need to feel you can trust your counselor, but it’s not necessary that you always be comfortable. In fact, if your counselor’s questions don’t stir up a little discomfort, you may not be getting anywhere. Sometimes counseling can even feel downright brutal. You should see in yourself those changes in attitude and behavior that you want from the treatment.

Counseling is not advice. The world’s full of advice. Part of what brings you to treatment is that you’ve become lost in that advice and can’t sort out who’s to listen to; the last thing you need is yet another voice to consider. The goal of treatment is for you to rediscover your own voice, your own priorities, and the courage to act on them. A client does not need to be told what to do about his marriage, depression, anxiety or addiction. If it’s possible to help him/her become aware of what’s happening to him, inside him and between him and others, he will know better than anyone what is best for him.

Links to other important information:

Choosing the right Counselor When to seek counseling

What counseling is & isn't